Holding Space...

Just a simple, “How are you?”
I hear the words “tough day” whispered from her lips.
Should I ask or should I let the words go unsaid?
I cannot.
“Do you want to share?”
The sadness unfolds and begins to escape from her eyes.
 Today she took her boyfriend’s ashes home.
They were safe now and under her care.
He was finally free from the drugs that haunted him.
“I am sorry for your pain,” I say.
I listen to her story and watch as the grief overtakes her.
Yet her words are strong and courageous.

Another sits down.
Just a simple, “How are you?”
I hear the words “tough day” whispered from her lips.
Should I ask or should I let the words go unsaid?
I cannot.
“Do you want to share?”
The pain and fear appear in her dark eyes.
The reports are not good.
Her body is attacking itself and her future is in question.
She says,
“What about my son?”
“I am so tired.”
Once again, I listen.
“God,” I ask, “Help me to help them.”
“Be still,” I hear, “hold their space.”
Three women, together, caring and loving each other.
 Sharing in their vulnerability and resting in God’s peace and healing.
                           Just a simple, “How are you?”

Holding space is a term that I have struggled with the past few weeks. What does it mean to hold someone’s space? What I have come to understand is that we all do this on a regular basis. Whenever we listen to another person’s story regardless of their emotion, happy, sad, pain, anxiety, peace or love, we hold their space. In these moments, we are with them “wholly,” which becomes “holy.”  We offer them a place to process whatever is on their hearts. They trust us in their vulnerability to share something very close to their hearts. When I just listened to these two women tell me their stories of grief, fear, anxiety and sorrow, I knew that I could not fix their pain. They were not asking for my help but wanting my heart to listen and be with them without judgment or platitudes. In those moments, we let go of ourselves, we held each other and together we walked through the shadow of darkness and shared a very holy space.